I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
