There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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