We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
