I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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