you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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