So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
