Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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