The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
