Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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