I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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