Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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