Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
