sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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