Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I CAN MOONWALK!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
