I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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