oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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