the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
