i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
