break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
