That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
