with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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