goodnight i made you a song goodbye
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
