careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
