It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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