so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
