I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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