I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
