Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize