Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
