Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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