All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
