3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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