Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who youβre talking about.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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