You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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