Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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