Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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