She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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