what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
