Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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