I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
