So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
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Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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