I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
