Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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