he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
