K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Every concussion has its silver lining
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
