his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
