Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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