The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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