Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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