i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize