you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We left the knife in your bed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.