she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance