So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.