he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.