If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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