Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
